May 24th 2020

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It's been several months now that we've been managing the evolving circumstances that Covid-19 has brought. In many ways it's been like a death in the different emotions that I've been feeling. The only difference is the order in which the grieving process is unfolding is...all messed up. 

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In January, the threat was distant and barely entered my thoughts. In February, I felt the concern as health professionals and scientists were warning of what was to come. US leadership professed this to be another flu and it would come and go without any more fuss than the seasonal flu. I didn't believe this. My panic setting was simmer. 

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March, week by week, was the beginning of the nightmare that was not to be spoken about. It was coming even thought we were told it was nothing to be concerned about. I was concerned. I thought about my financial position. The economy in Massachusetts had been on fire for over 6 years and it looked like 2020 would be the best year yet. My project pipeline was the biggest it had ever been in my career. What does this mean? What will I do? I didn't sleep much and my anxiety was high.

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The third week of March brought the Governor of Massachusetts ordering a stay at home order, along with many other states. The case count for some states were rising at an exponential rate and the potential looked to be catastrophic. On March 23 the order was enacted and would stay in place until May 18th when it was reduced to a safer at home order. 

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The first several weeks, I couldn't focus on anything but the news. I felt compelled to seek the latest information on the progress, the economy, and any hope there might be. 

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I was very fortunate to quickly request my unemployment benefits and was approved with those benefits paying out in the very next week and then special federal benefits followed close after that. If this held out...I'd be ok. 

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From mid March I'd been trying to by sanitizing wipes, masks, and gloves without success. I made purchases for these items that would eventually come in mid April and into mid May. One of companies that I buy gym clothing from happened to start making masks, using CDC guidelines, and so I got in on that first round. They arrived within a few days and were of very high quality and can be washed. They've gone on to design several other, more protective versions, with more layers and even with a copper layer. I have some of each. 

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With each week's paycheck, I did my best to put money in savings, pay some on my car, and spend very little. Beyond the immediate, I was thinking of what would come in a second wave of infections over the summer and then in the fall with the return of the flu and Covid-19, what would happen then. 

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The first two weeks of April I was very sick. I had all of the symptoms of the virus. I had fever, aches, cough, headache, exhaustion, and at times, trouble breathing. My Dr. was counseling me everyday as he believed that I'd contracted the virus. I was really miserable and it seemed to be worse at night. Eventually, two weeks later, I was tested and was found to be negative. The nurse told me that she thought I'd had a bad case of this years flu. She also said that the accuracy of the test wasn't known and my Dr. still thought I'd had a mild case. We really have no idea. 

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Late April, I finally pulled myself out to the paralyzing fear to be constructive. I organized my dresser and chest of drawers, I removed everything from my closet and from under my bed. I cleaned all of my bookcases and any surface with things on it. 

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I was cleaning the bedroom floors, bathroom, and kitchen surfaces every other day. It kept me busy. I even took a Sunday drive to a Porshe Dealership to look at cars...something I enjoy. It was meant to bring a smile to my face as I was presented with my favorite Porsche in my favorite color ( 911 Carrera in Miami Blue)

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I finally picked up my laptop and decided to see how I could start to work on this blog...finally. I'd procrastinated, avoided, and feared that I couldn't really do it. At first, I couldn't even remember how to do the minor things that I have to set up the format but soon I was learning how better to integrate photos and like a dramatic AHA moment, I knew I'd be able to conquer the beast. 

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I'd kept in contact with my clients and ones in progress, I helped them move along as I could. By the time we were allowed to resume construction, in a safe manner, they'd all responded with interest in moving forward. I was stunned but hopeful. Maybe Massachusetts would rebound quickly. I had read an article about the new normal of more working from home and less travel. Many people would be spending money on making their home more functional for work and more enjoyable as they would be spending more time there and the investment seemed smart. 

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I've done my best to stay sane and position myself for success in whatever manner it will take. I've connected with my clients and they've done the same. We've been there for each other...just a short email and sometimes a call or text. It helped me and I believe it's helped them. 

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I bought a desk and have it set up for working from home, myself. I have a window and even some travel treasure on the desk for inspiration. It feels good. That is nice that it feels good. 

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As the weather has gotten better, I've been riding my bike to the largest park in Boston on the sunny days. It's around 5 miles round trip, and a great workout. 

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Now here I am, all 50 states are open, what's next. In many places, people are big reckless. What will happen there. I am fortunate to live in a place where intelligence and science matter. We're taking it slow. As for the rest of the country...God help us all. 

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May 25, 2020

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I want a haircut so bad! I was to get one today, my first since the first week of May but at the last minute, I was called and they are not able to open. 

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I have no problem with peacefully protesting but bringing your guns to the state house in a large gathering needs to be banned...NOW! Also, It's your constitutional right to go to the beach...really? The constitution is there for much more important things than going to the beach. I applaud Governors who are taking a protective stance with their citizens as it's their first and foremost priority. Many aren't considering the potential impact on others they might interact with and being reckless with the constitutionally protected time at the beach. GRRR...makes me crazy. 

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Now I have my groceries and any meds delivered, get my gas with gloves on, and don't go to any businesses otherwise. Certainly, there aren't businesses to visit yet but I've decided that other than getting my hair cut and my car cleaned, I will not be shopping and interacting with anyone other than my clients and that will be in a "mask and gloves" protective manner I will not be eating out, going to a mall, going to the movies, any time soon. I will consider late in the year but I don't think it's going to be safe before we have a vaccine. I've been an internet shopper for many, many years now and many of the companies that I might need to go to a brick and mortar store have made online shopping more friendly with free shipping and returns so there isn't a necessity to do otherwise. The is the world as we live in it today. 

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